Chapter 43

I'm loving this shit

I turned 43 on Saturday.

Wild.

Life comes at you fast, huh?

I’m sure you can all relate to not understanding how your age number got so high.

But I am so very grateful to be here, now, in this mind, body and soul, as a 43 year old.

I don’t fear the number at all. I welcome it. What a gift it is to have made it this far.

I feel better each year; more myself, more self-assured, more settled in my spirit.

I get it though - we’ve demonised aging so much, especially for women, that many of us are terrified of hitting the big 4-0 and over. So, here’s some thoughts/advice that might help quell your disdain for this very glorious and natural process.

This is not old!

Like seriously, being in your 40s is not old. Enough with that chatter already. I look and feel great, here, now, in this body, as me. ‘You look so young!’ is no longer a compliment. I get that it’s meant to be, but in essence it just reaffirms the idea that being your actual age is a bad thing. It’s not. I’m 43. I look 43. And 43 looks hella good on me!

You can start whenever you want

You’re not running out of time, you haven’t missed your shot. You can start things whenever you damn well feel like it. You can start from scratch, start over, do all kinds of starting! I picked my life up and moved countries at 39, I moved cities at 42, started a business that same year. Am I supposed to not follow my heart anymore because I crossed the 40 threshold? Don’t be ridiculous. You are the architect of your life. You owe it to yourself to do the things that light you up and make you feel good.

YOU decide what your key life markers are

And to add to the point above, you and only you decide what those things are. I’m 43, single and child-free. By society’s standards I should be married (or have at least a couple of divorces under my belt), have a few kids and been in a long standing career. Nope, I never prized those things. Kids have never appealed to me. Love will come along at the time that it feels right. I’ve always taken pleasure in my work, so I prioritised it. That was the right fit, for me. I certainly was never going to stay in bad relationships or crank a couple of kids out because that’s what’s expected of me. Design your life the way you want it - not family, not society, not your peers.

Your body is a temple

I say this all the time but you fear aging because you’ve watched your grandparents age - your grandparents who didn’t have access to even a fraction of the wellness tools we do. You will not age in the same way. But that is only true if you take care of yourself. I am in the best shape of my life right now; I feel stronger, I have more endurance, my mobility is great - but I actively work on all those things, daily. I do not take it for granted. I don’t want to have a ton of health and mobility related issues when I’m old, so my current (and ongoing) lifestyle is geared around staying as active as possible for as long as possible.

For those of you who’ve already hit 40 and beyond, I’d love to know what you’d add to this list. For those of you who are approaching it and feeling fearful, what are your biggest concerns?

Let’s get a convo going! Comment below.