Thursday Murmurings
bell hooks, community, Christmas!
Greetings, beloveds!
Author, feminist and all around badass bell hooks passed away last week. The world is better for her having been in it.
There are entirely too many quotes of hers I could post here, but this one is the energy I hope all of us carry with us:
“If any female feels she need anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency".”
Rest well, Ms hooks.
Things that caught my eye this week
With my relationship having bitten the dust this year and having had many conversations with other women about relationships and their varying dynamics, the subject of red flags has come up repeatedly. As I reflect on my own situation, there were definite red flags in the beginning that I ignored. As I begin to contemplate dating again (*throws up in mouth a little bit*), I’m pretty sure that if a flag seems even slightly amber, I will bail.
But this article is a good read and gives a balanced take on our tendency to sometimes incorrectly or unfairly label things as ‘red flags’. Definitely got me thinking. But I’ve gotta say, for my money, my gut is never really wrong. I definitely won’t ignore it next time!
Food for thought
If there’s one thing packing up your life and moving it across an ocean during the height of a global pandemic will teach you, it’s the importance of community. You may have to find and build one for yourself in the toughest of circumstances, but build, you must!
However you can get yourself out there, just keep trying. Take the class, go to the thing, sign up for whatsit, whatever it takes, however intimidating it is initially, if the other option is to just accept the hermit life and stay home alone until you wither away to nothing, you’ve gotta just get out there!
Adult friendships are hard and take time to build. If you have started over, be patient with yourself. The connections are coming, the belonging is coming, the good stuff is coming. Stay engaged, open and receptive to it. And one day, you’ll realise that your new home is now home home.
Your weekly Biggie Smalls (P)update
This week, Biggie sends you season’s greetings and says he hopes you spend ample time in this position on a couch somewhere during this festive period.
Life Coaching
Don’t forget, if you’re looking for some support and guidance in helping you be your most confident, goal crushing self next year, check out my life coaching offerings. I’d love to work with you.
One of my recent clients says:
“I immediately felt at ease working with Bangs. There was no judgement, just an overwhelming feeling that someone genuinely cared about helping me to get the most out of my life. She is empowering just by being unapologetically herself, but spending the sessions with her gave me a whole extra level of confidence boost. I would recommend working with her in a heartbeat, so much so that I'm going to gift sessions with her to the women in my life who could do with a little dose of her magic. I'm so glad I took the leap, reached out and now feel a million miles closer to the life I want to be living after working with her.”
This coming week is a great time to download my Confidence Kit and do the yearly reflection and goal planning.
Thank you!
There will be no newsletters next week, as I take a little rest to enjoy all things Christmassy. But I will be back in the New Year with more musings.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing my work this year. I appreciate it so much. You all have been a much needed support and cheering squad during what turned out to be one of the most difficult years of my life. I’m so grateful for this space to share my musings with likeminded women.
If there are any topics you’d like me to explore next year, please do drop me a line and let me know. I love being able to spark a conversation and get us thinking about things in a new way.
So with that said, I wish you the very best of the very best this festive season. I’ll see you in the New Year, as we bound into it with fresh energy, fresh excitement and a bad bitch vibe. See you there!
(Oh, and if you’re looking to give yourself a lil gift this Christmas, go ahead and subscribe to the paid version of this newsletter, if you haven’t already!)
Until next year, smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.