Thursday Murmurings
Eartha Kitt, influencers and discovering new hobbies
Happy Thursday, you beauties!
Kicking it off this week with Eartha Kitt, simply because she is an eternal mood.
Now to some things that caught my eye this week:
I feel like I’ve seen so many surveys that say the top answer when young people are asked what they want to do career wise , is ‘influencer’ or ‘celebrity’. Who knows how much weight can really be put in these things. But this article about Tik Tok creators burning out was really insightful. Personally, I don’t see the attraction of being an influencer - sounds entirely too stressful. Hopefully these social media platforms are going to put some safeguards in place to ensure these creators manage to stay sane amid the pressures to constantly churn out content.
Female friendships can be tough to navigate at times. While part of me thinks we get better with age at being able to articulate what works and what doesn’t in our frienship dynamics, this piece on trauma bonding got me thinking that these kinds of behaviours can exhibit themselves at any age. The main lesson being - don’t be scared to create boundaries.
This article on learning to relish being an amateur came at a good time for me. I wrote in my Monday newsletter a couple of weeks ago about learning to roller skate and how, when you’re learning anything new, you just have to accept that you suck for a while. Reading this made me realise I can probably scale back my notions that I ever have to reach professional, Queen of the Roller Disco status and it’s OK if I suck forever, as long as I enjoy the act of skating itself.
“In each case, it’s about appreciating a feeling of the mesmeric, and honouring the aesthetic experience: the paintbrush against the grain of the paper, or the gentle rhythm of kneading dough. Chances are that the mindfulness and consciousness that you bring to the moment will increase your accomplishments a thousand-fold. The destructive emotions of success and failure will slip away, and the word ‘practice’ will be replaced by the word ‘pleasure’.”
Shout out to Murmuration reader, Melissa, who sent me this article about ageing being inevitable and why shouldn’t we do it joyfully? I’m very pro anything that talks about ageing in a positive light and I’m always looking for more of that kind of narrative, so YAY to this. The article has great tips too.
I know this pandemic has seen a lot of us discovering new hobbies and interests and for some, there’s a certain level of anxiety as the world starts to open up again, about returning to your pre-pandemic life and wondering where these new interests fit into life now. Well, give this a read - we don’t have to give up one thing just because we’ve discovered something else. New interests just make your life juicier.
Tell me your story.
I want to do a multi-part deep-dive series on having children, looking at this from multiple perspectives:
Those who have kids
Those who are undecided about having kids
Those who are happily child-free
Those who want children but have fertility issues
Those who are step parents
Those who have adopted
I want this to be a super honest look at our experiences. My goal with The Murmuration is for it to be a safe space, an intimate community, where we can have these deeper conversations, free of judgement. If you fall into one of the above categories and would be happy to talk to me about your experience, please do drop me a line at bangs@bangsandabun.com. I’m happy to keep you anonymous, if it makes you more comfortable. Having these conversations helps us all learn and be better able to support each other and those in our lives who may be struggling with these issues.
To kick off that series, in next Monday’s Murmuration, I’m talking about my experience of going from happily child-free, to becoming a step-parent.
“I had only held a baby a handful of times in my life. Outside of that, I’d actively avoided being around them. I always felt clumsy and awkward around kids, never knowing quite what to do. I had the feeling I didn’t have the necessary qualifications to be in their presence. We’re raised to believe that simply owning a uterus comes with this built-in motherly instinct.
It doesn’t. I was absolutely positive I didn’t have it.”
The Monday edition of The Murmuration is a smaller, private community where we dig a little deeper. It’s a safe space to discuss the big stuff that effects us. It’s $5 per month or $50 for the year. Subscribe by clicking the button below.
Is any newsletter complete without a picture of Biggie being adorable? That was a rhetorical question, obviously.
Until next week, you can follow me on Twitter here and Instagram here.
Smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.