Thursday Murmurings
Gisèle Péricot, people pleasing and changing seasons
Happy Thursday, ya beauties!
Kicking it off this week with Gisèle Péricot. Ms Péricot is currently giving evidence in a court in southern France in a case against her husband. Her husband, whom she has been married to for 50 years, drugged and raped her frequently. But not only that, he put ads online, inviting men to come and rape his wife while she was unconscious. It is estimated that 83 men assaulted her over a nine year period. This was only discovered after her husband was arrested for taking upskirt photos of women in a supermarket. They searched his computer and found over 20,000 files - photos and videos - of people raping his wife while she was drugged.
This story has haunted me since it came out last week. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it. If you cannot trust your husband of 50 years, who can you trust? She’s been married to this man since she was 21. She must feel as though her whole adult life has been a lie. They have three adult children who she’s had to tell about this ordeal. She now has four sexually transmitted infections as a result of these assaults.
How does anyone even begin to heal and move on from something like this? She decided to forgo anonymity and speak out ‘for every woman who’s been drugged without knowing it…so that no woman has to suffer.’
This woman has a strength I think all of us would struggle to muster. I am in awe of her bravery.
And I hope every man involved in this rots under the jail.
Things that caught my eye this week
In the wake of pop singer, Chappell Roan, speaking out about the harassment that comes along with her job and her not feeling the need to indulge fan requests for a photo or a hug, this Billboard article is an interesting read.
I’m in equal parts fascinated and disturbed by this era of the ‘super fan’. I guess because I haven’t ever personally felt that attached to someone I don’t know, I find it hard to relate. The article makes the point that these intense para-social relationships have always existed (Beatlemania being the main example), but there’s no question the advent of the internet has heightened this behaviour incredibly.
But shout out to Chappell Roan for insisting on protecting her peace and her privacy.
Food for thought
Part of the challenge in starting something new, is not merely in the act itself, but also in the acceptance of knowing you may well suck at it for a while. Alongside doing your ‘something new’, you also have to cultivate and nurture a mindset that accepts flaws and failures and is willing to persevere despite them. If we gave up at the first sign of struggle, we’d never achieve anything. But the willingness to carry on through hardship doesn’t just magically happen. It has to be worked on, practiced, refined over time. Developing stick-to-it-ness is often harder than habit you’re trying to stick to.
You should upgrade to the paid version of The Murmuration because…
In Monday’s letter I’m talking about people pleasing and how to break out of that behaviour. There are few things more exhausting than constantly dancing around other people’s feelings to protect their peace while completely sacrificing your own. I did it for years in friendships and relationships - never wanting to rock the boat or cause any upset. The result of this though is that you’re ultimately just constantly swallowing your own feelings and you can never feel at peace.
I’ve been challenging this behaviour in myself that past few years and have found some ways to break out of the habit that are really working for me.
Upgrade your subscription so I can share them with you on Monday!
Your Weekly Biggie Smalls (P)update
This week, Biggie wants to remind you, that as the seasons change, it’s totally normal to feel a little more tired as your body adjusts. If you’re craving more inside time and cosiness, roll with it. And if you have a dog, they likely want to cuddle with you.
Until next week; smile at strangers, spread good vibes, be nice to people.